Today has just been one of those days…… I’ve managed to hold myself together well most of the day, but I did have a ‘waaa’ not long before I finished work, for whatever reason I don’t know as it wasn’t about anything specifically to do with work at all…. I’ve just been feeling LONELY and confused on and off for the whole week to be honest! I don’t know what it is, but I’ve tried hard to not feel out of the loop. I have had that feeling that people are talking about me and that there’s whispering and when I walk into a room it stops! It make me so anxious and paranoid. Maybe it is happening, but then I see no reason for it to be! I have done nothing wrong that I know of and am pretty on top of most things currently! (Well at least I thought I was).
I guess feeling tired hasn’t helped matters and possibly the fact that I have had a couple of pretty full on weeks! I know in my heart of heart I’m doing the best I can and sometimes I guess my best will NEVER be good enough, but I also know that I try to do whatever I can for others, but sometimes I just can’t do some things! I try and want to but just can’t! These are the moments in life that leave me in a state and make my stomach knot up, my heart race and my mind go fussy!
I want my life to be normal again and I want all the negatives in my mind and with my body to STOP! Let me be the person I want to be and need to be! I just feel like the world has no compassion and everyone is in life for themselves and as I said the other day just ask from time to time are you ok? Do you need a hug? Remember who is there for you when you need them and return the favour! I hope these feelings pass soon – otherwise I’m gonna need a lot of hugs 🤗
Please note: this is not directed at anyone and is not about work for those that are wondering – it is about my life this week and my thoughts – it’s generalised! There’s just so many things I wish I could still do without my stupid head confusing things….. I also want to stop having that feeling of loneliness, especially since I know I shouldn’t have it!