Hey all, long time no speak from me here on this blog. I thought I would touch base just to let you all know where things are at for me and how much of a roller coaster you can be on when diagnosed with anxiety and depression for a variety of reasons. For months, I was coasting along nicely, not always wonderfully, but doing ok…… Next minute I’m at the doctor to get my repeat prescription with a doctor I had never met before and he’s completely changing ALL my medication up, sending me for a million test (because I “must have diabetes with my size”) yes that’s what I was told with a laugh at the end. Many other sarcastic remarks were made and I was feeling pretty low when I left that room 7 months ago. I thought a doctor was there to help not hinder people. Anyway in the car and straight through for my tests, with the thought of crashing into a bridge in my brain while driving through the tears. Tests done and home.
Anyway fast forward a bit – my test were absolutely perfect – no diabetes, no heart issues, or kidney and liver. So sorry to disappoint you Doctor W🖕🏼, I obviously I’m healthier than you thought 😢. Straight away I started my switch to my new medication and at first I thought things were going ok. However on reflection since this change I’ve not had a good nights sleep once – yes that’s right in 7 months, I’ve had every muscle in my body ache almost constantly and I have to say leaving the house has been a struggle most days. Well to be honest getting up and dressed most days has been bloody hard too.
I have tried everything with my new medication from taking it in the morning to at night to see if anything makes a difference, but no! I’ve lived on Panadol and ibuprofen, even though I’ve tried to stick with my LeRêve natural products as much as I can too. Life has simply been one GREAT BIG STRUGGLE 😭. Even things I love ❤️, I simply have no passion for anymore. And don’t even get me started on my financial journey 🤦🏼♀️ or struggles – however you want to look at it 🤔.
My hole has just got deeper and deeper and the walls have closed in further and further around me. Those that know my smile, well it’s been quite lost 😞 and I’ve found it hard to just connect with what’s going on. I’m lucky I have the best support systems around me I truly am. For the past few month everything that I do not agree with has stressed me out beyond belief and I’m normally open to all points of view and will listen and think, but at the moment that’s not even possible!!!!!!
Anyway this week my ever compiling issues have just got on top of me. I’m at the point where I can’t take anymore of the way I feel and I don’t want to even go anywhere. I have simply been hiding behind my mask and now it’s time to unveil myself and get back on the right track. It’s time to focus on me, yes me myself and I and looking after me and what is important. I need to move forward and gain control over me again. Tomorrow morning I’m making an appointment with my new permanent 🤞🏼 doctor. Hopefully she’s good and will help me because I need to make these feelings happy ones again. It’s time to start my rehab for another round and hopefully for the last time before all the festive times begin 🙏🥰❤️
Much love to all who constantly help and support me and my amazing family and friends whom I love with all my ❤️. I could not get through life without you all and some days I’ve honestly been hanging by a thread. Please allow me time to get on track and understand the struggle is real but I’m still me at the end of the day and always will be, even if I’m a little flat at times 🥰
Always here for you. Happy that you are seeing a new Dr, it does not matter how big of a step you take, or how fast you take it, but one foot in front of the other is heading in the right direction ♥️
Aww Melissa you poor thing, watching you do your online parties I would have never guessed you were thar low.I remember driving home from work b4 I had my hips done and thoughts of driving into a bridge or over the bank made it feel so easy to be rid of the pain ,then I thought how selfish could I be to leave the ones I love behind.You are one strong woman and I am hoping your new Dr will see things in a broader light.Take care and all my love 💓 is with you.You can do this ,one step at a time. Always here for you my friend 🫂🫂