On the rocky road to recovery….

So this week has been a ‘HELL’ of a week in Melissa’s world! For the past couple of weeks I’ve been battery operated with a pico dressing to try and heal my wound faster. It is working well, but man it can be a pain being connected to a device all day and night! If I have pockets in my clothes it helps but when I don’t – OMG 🤦🏼‍♀️. I mean I get up to walk and forget and next minute I’m dragging my device along behind me – oops 😬. Anyway for the most of this journey I’ve still had my sense of humour – which can be quite bad sometimes, but this week it’s disappeared!

I finally got clearance from my nurse on Monday afternoon to return back to work on Tuesday with the proviso I take it easy and look after myself…… the first couple of days weren’t too bad, but by Thursday I was not only failing to smile, but spending most of the day upset about everything and anything! What a dork!!!! My nurse reminded me again on Thursday to make sure I was looking after me! Me?! Aye?! I always put myself last and my well-being as I prioritise so many other things and people before me!!!!

Anyway I got up and dressed for work on Friday knowing for well that I shouldn’t be going the way I was feeling! BUT we were short staffed and I HATE letting people down! I went and don’t think I even managed to crack a smile – feeling so miserable and down! I ended up giving up at lunchtime and surrendered to home! I walked in snuggled on the chair in my lounge and woke up 3 hours later! I guess I needed to rest 🤷‍♀️. I’ve barely moved all night and just feel exhausted!

Besides the mental exhaustion, I have a sore leg and knee, a constant headache and still at times feel sick!!!! FFS is all I can say! When will this ever end? When will I be on top of this again?! Why did I try to go back to normality? Will I ever succeed again? A million questions circulating in my head!!!!!! Despite all of this I’ve pushed away people that try to help! I’ve been a horrible person to be around and I’ve let the mental stress take over my brain!

I know I need to regain my focus and get back on track! I’m sure I will once I feel better with my physical struggles. Then I want to work hard to build up my mental strength by being a lot more ME focused! Looking after myself and learning to love myself for who I am and what I can contribute to life! Any help, love and support welcomed 😊. I need to learn to love what I’ve got and turn my life into what I want! It’s going to take me time to achieve this but hopefully I’m strong enough to do this (with the help of all you closest to me). I need to find that something to make me smile and regain my sparkle ✨🌟   

Anyway thanks for letting me rant at this ungodly hour! Much love to you all 😘❤️

2 Replies to “On the rocky road to recovery….”

  1. Oh Melissa 0u always sparkle to me. You are strong you will get through this it’s just another obstacle on life’s course. It’s so hard to be positive though I fully understand. Here for example you if needed for anything.

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