With my recent ongoing battle with depression and anxiety and my passion for writing I thought it was time to put it out there and discuss my personal issues with the world to let everyone know that you are not alone if you are one of those suffering…..
I am now four months into my journey and believe me not one part of this has been easy for me. Everyday I have learnt more about myself and the ones that continue to support and inspire me and those that simply don’t care. I have learnt how to live with a head full of voices that make it hard for me to sleep and that some days I just can’t face the world.
I chose to give up my job – which was the single utmost hardest thing I’ve done in my life, but so many people told me I needed to do what was right for me and that I simply need to get better! I know at the time this was the right thing to do and the only way to dig myself out of this hole I was falling into deeper and deeper.
The medication has been a constant struggle and to even get the dosage right for starters. 20mg, then 30mg and feeling better, back to 20mg and back to where I started, fighting a constant battle with my brain and being full of anxiety. Trying to start a new job and totally falling apart due to not being ready and my body not coping with the changes! Sometimes the world just feels like it’s crashing down around me and nothing will ever be right again.
Finally after a week of taking 40mg I’m starting to feel a bit better and a hang of a lot less anxious. Still a long way to go but getting back on top of my game and wanting to get back out in the world and be brave. Im ready to get back on the bike as they say and go for my walks and go swimming and even get back into my marching – all passions to help me relax and get some clarity – hopefully! Reading has also been something I’ve done to relax and refocus…..
I’m not sure exactly how long I’ve been living with this but I know for sure that’s it’s good to finally know and understand and listen to my head and body and simply just take some time for me and to get back to being the real me!!!!
Anyway if you’re reading this I hope you can take something from it, even if it’s understanding or just knowing that you’re not alone. I want to keep you posted with where I’m at and things I’ve done that have worked and not worked for me.
#37andsingle #livingaconstantbattle #thingsareslowlylookingbrighter #wanttosupportandinspireothers