On the positive…..

This week has been pretty good for me and I guess it’s showed as I was told I had a glow about me that hadn’t been seen for a long time 😊 – 🤞this continues. I’ve done a lot of thinking, mostly positive to help me turn things around. It helps that I’ve had a lovely week with almost all of my special people around me at some point. I seriously still do not think they know how much their influence and presence has on my life and the way I feel. If they make me laugh, feel happy, at ease and comfortable then everything is ok in my world and running like clockwork – you all know who you are so know that you rock my world and keep me wanting to be around! It’s taken me a long time to realise, but I can honestly say I now know who I want in my life and who/what makes me happy! I love you guys so much  and cherish every moment we share 😘😍.

I’m feeling 98% on top of things this week and contemplating my next move, but this is with very careful consideration as I don’t want to go backwards and end up back at the beginning AGAIN! Life is too short to sweat the small stuff and I just want normality NOW.

This week while having a discussion with a medical professional I realised that a lot of people don’t get what people with anxiety and/or depression go through….. It’s a constant battle with the mind a lot of the time and it can be VERY exhausting (that’s why some days are stay in bed days). She explained to me how she told a friend of hers – “imagine something you really hate doing like public speaking, well that’s how living with anxiety feels every day.” I couldn’t agree more!!!! The constant inner demons you’re battling in your head about whether or not you should say/do something? What if what I’m thinking is not true? Or on a real bad day – Would I be missed if I wasn’t around? All I can say is your mental well-being certainly affects your physical health.

So for now I want everyone to know I’m happy and striving to feel better using whatever methods I need…. Hey I’ve even been looking at returning to some work! I find writing this and talking to people a great tool and I believe this is helping more of us to understand mental illness and support each other through the hard times. The more it is put out there and talked about the better it is understood (and I know not everyone will get it, but sometimes just a simple hi how are you is all that’s needed, or a reply to a conversation). Check in on those you love and tell them how you feel cause you never know what the inside of a person is doing even behind the biggest smile 😊. You also never know what someone is feeling unless you ask or tell them (or someone else makes a comment that surprises you in a good way). Hell there are a shitload of people I’ve always thought were fine on the outside, but know they aren’t or haven’t been at a point in their life on the inside! This medical professional also said don’t push yourself, which is great advice but hard when you need to earn a living to keep on top of things! 

While thinking I often used to listen to John Kirwan talk about mental illness and think ‘freaking out’ is that even a thing! Well yes it is and I hate this happening in front of my loved ones and to think he had to deal with it in front of most of the country and at times the world 🙄. As I’ve mentioned before I still get a little like this in big crowds or with a lot of people I don’t know particularly well or sometimes if I’m tired or overstimulated- shit my brain has that happen a lot! Driving Dad to the bank the other day and he says why didn’t you take that park? Shit Dad I forgot what I was doing for a minute, I’ll just go around the block 🙄.  I guess the boys would say I have a few cows missing in the top paddock and my response to that would be well done (private joke but creating a lot of laughs this week). Anyway here’s to more positives and sharing our feelings and thoughts with those closest to us…. Have a great weekend 😘

2 Replies to “On the positive…..”

  1. Great that you are getting some inner peace. Love and live the moment . When you have traveled this journey you will be so much stronger. Be gentle on yourself and take care.

  2. Hi Melissa, that is so awesome to hear. Super glad you’ve had a fabulous week, and yes you are so right about the anxiety thing, its so hard for me to explain it but you nailed it. Heres to another amazing week ahead for you, xxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *